I can’t stay long. I doubt you can either. We are all on the precarious slip slide into the festive season. I am still attempting to go about normal life against the backdrop of a galaxy of fairy lights, festive play lists on a loop and Santa’s cheery face looming wherever I turn, but soon I will succumb. Usually by the time the kids have broken up, the final postal date has passed, and I have face planted into the first panettone (of three, because you have to share apparently, and one may be attacked by mice so you cannot be too careful).
I made the mistake, a few years ago, of writing a book about Christmas and from then on, I have been considered an expert. I am very clearly not. I am not sure anyone can be because our traditions and celebrations are so personal to each of us. What I do have (and hope I shared in the book) is an indefatigable love for the season which has not yet been too diminished by age, change, hard times and global tragedy. It is like cupping my hands around a tiny flame of light and willing it not to go out.
One of the absolute pleasures of my book is the number of households who pull it out each year and dip back in for favourite recipes, larder lists and the spirit of the time. From late November onwards, I receive messages, photographs of Quincemas cakes and am tagged into posts on Instagram, showing my book stacked in a pile with such Greats as Nigel Slater (unbeatable swoon), Nigella Lawson (we could be friends, I just know it) and Jamie Oliver (surely soon a Sir?). When I wrote it, I didn’t think about the legacy it might bring which is good because I would have likely got stage fright, but now I feel the immense privilege of being part of so many people’s Christmas. I imagine it’s how Noddy Holder feels. I just had to google him in a panic to check he was still alive and the first quote that came up was one he had recently given to The Big Issue stating, ‘I’m still alive, thank God’. Phew. Christmas can go ahead.
I am often asked about the secret to a stress-free Christmas, and I am sorry to say there isn’t one. Caring less about perfection is helpful. Being organised is a good thing. Saving some money throughout the year certainly helps. You know this already. Instead, I am going to list a few things that work for me, with the caveat that this is the tip of the ice cube in my gin and I may pop back here next week with additional thoughts. Or I may not if I run out of time because this is surely one of the biggest points, to take the pressure and expectation off yourself. Just do what you can do and to absolute hell with the rest of it.
1. Delegation – best described by the fashion designer and TV judge, Esme Young, who each year wonders if she can really be bothered to put a tree up. So she uses it as an excuse for a party and invites everyone over for a drink and to hang a decoration on the tree. This may sound like an oxymoron, causing more work than the act of dressing a tree, but she thinks of it as killing two partridges with one plum pudding. It’s a great way to catch up with friends and she puts them to good use. Catering is simple. Bottles of fizz in a kitchen sink full of ice and a lot of mince pies.
2. Consumerism – as much as we may wish to, we can’t always shop locally, independently, hand craftedly or resort to homemade, particularly where teenagers are concerned. They have desires which won’t be met in charity shops or artisan markets. Sometimes we have to navigate the high street and online retailers. During this minefield, I often consider if this product I am putting in my internet basket will be in the new year sales and if so, how it will look? In the cold light of January, will it seem pointless. I find this the quickest way to decide whether I really want to buy certain items. Also helpful is when you return to your basket to discover an ‘item is no longer available’ and then you know if you really did want it and are prepared to drive to Sheffield for the last one in existence.
3. Delayed Gratification – eat the Christmas cake now. That’s if you have made it of course, and it isn’t still a pile of ingredients like mine is. Don’t save it for the main festive days, unless this is when you really enjoy it. By then, there are so many edible delights vying for your attention that the cake doesn’t get the glory it deserves. Go early and be happy about it. Take a chunk in your pocket on a dog walk, hack into it after a particularly long zoom meeting or cut a slice in front of Elf. What are you waiting for?!
4. Expectation – saying we must manage our expectations is a mantra for this time of year, but it bears constant repeating because I still forget. I may want to go to the party/pop up shop/carol concert/theatre/wreath making and I must make my own mincemeat/diorama/stockings, but I can’t because I will be a limp rag of exhaustion and bankruptcy. What seems to be so appealing when you see the poster, read the magazine article or see the social media shout-out in November, will take the diary of Princess Anne to pull off. And you don’t have the staff or the first-class travel to make it easier. Or maybe you do, but I don’t, so I tell myself to pick a handful of things and not to be tempted. If you see me out and about wearing a tinsel boa and reciting the ingredients in egg nog, please feel free to call me a cab.
5. Organisation – in amongst the lists that I rely on at this time of year, there is one very important one. It is the list for next year. As I run out of time, miss things or do something that works and I want to repeat, I make a note of it. It’s a random collection of stuff like white sugar mice, the Radio Times bumper issue, Charlie Brown’s festive soundtrack (if you haven’t already, have a listen) collecting branches of golden beech, a family jigsaw, beeswax candles and everyone who hates orange flavoured chocolate. It stops me feeling like I have failed and gives that reassurance of promise. There will always be next year.
I will stop now, but I may hop back on with further unmissable insights. In the meantime, I would love to hear about your approach to the season, what’s important to you and how you will be celebrating this year. But only if you have time. No pressure. We are all rushed off our feet, after all.
You promised not to "stay long" but in the end this post was perfectly satisfying. Combo of useful info and wonderful story-telling is your ticket. On my end: besides making Diana Henry's "English Ale-Soaked Christmas Pudding" from wonderful reissued Roast Figs, Sugar Snow, we bought "gumdrop" lights this year--little colored bulbs coated in something that looks like chunky sugar. Fun to mix new in with tradition this time of year.
Gorgeous words Lucy. Am getting over covid and a tooth infection so have missed out on some festive bits so far that I look forward to, they will be there next year!