Being Suggestible

and having a kitsch switch

I just bought a new mop because someone on Instagram, who used to be a model in the eighties, explained how this new cleaning tool had transformed her life. She was not orchestrating a brand deal or getting commission, she was just sharing her latest find with her online friends, and I was putty in her hands.

I only follow this woman on social media (not in real life because that would be frowned upon, and she lives the opposite end of the country to me) because a friend of mine told me to. Or at least she said this person was funny and honest, tipping into anarchic, and she sounded like my sort of gal, so I immediately paid attention.

I pride myself on not buying things the algorithm directs me to, but when a human I admire waves something at the screen, I take notice. I am not interested in the big expensive stuff like pizza ovens, fancy holidays or plump sofas (although I would absolutely lap it all up if it was thrown at me for free), it’s the small every day things that I am drawn to. The sort of purchase that can be made on a whim and doesn’t take a financial spreadsheet to approve it.

Hence the mop, but also a much-lauded product for frizzy hair. Yes please, me, me, me. And what’s that you say? The best mascara ever for not much more than a fiver? Add to basket. Thanks to India Knight for both those tip offs and for her weekly Substack missive which fills my inbox with joy. She does an excellent line in shopping roundups including things for all sizes of pocket.

Several things have called to me via the dark magic of Instagram recently. A garden nursery that sells pelargonium seedlings as mentioned by Nigel Slater? Hold me back. Hand crafted hot chocolate sent in a robust brown paper bag with a little rope handle? Why not? Magnesium pills to help me sleep? Back up the lorry here please. Limited edition Baked Beans? Trawling the supermarkets now.

I used to be an ace consumer when I lived in London, but now the lack of shops, money, time and knowing better means when I get excited about something I can talk myself out of it in five minutes flat. This tactic works for almost everything other than books, although my accountant says they are a business expense, which is a bit like saying, have that second cinnamon bun because there are no calories in it.

I have a kitsch switch which is activated at significant points in the year, the next being Easter. Spring is a triggering time for shoppers who love seasons and themes. I have little interest in pastels and gingham until April rolls around and I want to be swathed in pale yellow. In the village, I am surrounded by real rabbits but suddenly I am admiring merchandise decorated with cute bunnies wearing straw hats and munching bright orange carrots.

I popped into the mouth-watering Harp Lane Deli in Ludlow last week and stood transfixed by their display of chocolate eggs and a stack of Colomba Di Pasqua, the Easter cousin of the Christmas Panettone. There were armfuls of blossom, the first of the blousy tulips and tiny, sweet smelling narcissi decorating the tables. Luckily, I was on the train so I couldn’t carry anything, although I conveniently forgot that when I tried on a pair of shoes in the vintage shop. They were low heeled, pale lilac satin with a diamante buckle, a choice I would never have made at any other time of year, but this is the problem with spring. Plus, they were less than the price of the aforementioned Colomba. The pleasure of a second-hand purchase.

The biggest present we bought ourselves this month was the internet. Or to be more precise, an indestructible cable which links the house to the office shed. Steve spent a weekend clearing the bank - watched by Rodney, the idle horse in the field next door - to make a secure home for it and then a broadband guru connected everything, which may have resolved years of buffering. Early signs are promising but we wait. We’ve been caught out before with what turns out not to be the answer. In the meantime, Steve loves the new mop and Rodney continues to look bored.

I realise I have not put links to the products I allude to because that felt a bit like the hunted becoming the hunter, but if you are interested in anything I mention, pop a note here and I will add. Also, if you are feeling like you need respite after a heavy, anxious making week like the one I have just had, I highly recommend Last One Laughing if you have Prime and you don’t already know about it. Comedy gold. I never guffaw at the telly, but this got me.

Thank Crunchie it’s Friday and a happy weekend to you all.

PS. Will be back shortly with a free book offer for my paid subscribers.